How did you learn about s*x? How did you learn about dating? What to do? What not to do? Were you taught by your parents?

Let’s face it, hormonal induced attractions are a wild beast to try and harness. Many have tried. Most have failed. Starting around 13, feelings of attraction to the opposite s*x are natural and to be expected. But most parents would agree that 13, 14, 15, and even 16 is too young to be having a girlfriend or boyfriend. But what does a teenager do with those feelings of attraction…those animalist instinctive s*xual urges! The…“she’s phat” or “he’s fine” or “I try’n smash” or “He can get-it”. What does a teen do with that?

The social silence leaves a huge gap in knowing how to handle physical attractions and s*xual urges. So teens are left with doing what they hear and see at school, in music/videos, on youtube, and TV. *in my Chris Rock voice* “That ain’t right!!!”

Parents teach your kids:

What to do with their feelings of attraction to the opposite s*x
What to do with their s*xual urges
How to show a girl/guy you like them…without being corny or embarrassing yourself
What to do when a girl/guy says they like you
What to do when someone wants to have s*x with you

And be real! Don’t live in a parental bubble…where everything makes 40-year-old sense. Teens are experiencing primal urges and feelings — some for the first time. You can’t rationalize away feelings. You have to teach them to acknowledge their feelings, but control their behavior.

A 13 year old needs to know what to do when he/she has feelings of attraction for the cute girl/guy in class. They need to know…from you… what to do with that! Because proper social etiquette now says that she needs to show him how good she can twerk so he’ll notice her. Or she should offer him a blow jo- — I mean…oral s*x — under the stairwell to really make him like her. And then there’s the sexting.

Oh…and don’t just tell them, “Don’t twerk” or “Don’t give him oral s*x” or “Don’t sext”. You’re just telling them what not to do. Normalize their feelings. Validate that their feelings of attraction and s*xual urges are okay…they are natural. Then normalize the conversation about their feelings. Explain to them what they should do with those feelings in a loving, non-confrontational, non-embarrassing way. Use humor to lighten the mood. Be transparent about your past to build credibility. Never tell them to suppress those feelings until they’re older. That’s like trying to tame that wild hormonal beast. It didn’t work on you. So don’t try it on them.

BMWK