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Exploring Prof Wole Soyinka’s take on romance chemistry

Exploring Prof Wole Soyinka’s take on romance chemistry

| On 01, Jan 2014

This is one side of eminent Nobel Laureate Professor Wole Soyinka you hardly see or hear about. During  the  Ake Arts and Book Festival lately  in Abeokuta, Ogun State, he seemed to have been left with no other choice than talking. During the interview session at the festival, he was asked about how he wooed and got a favorable response from his first love.
According to a report by Akintayo Abodunrin, the Prof tried to parry the question. “I have a reputation for total recall. People are astonished by how I remember images, events from childhood and this is one of those areas where they fall down,” he ducked.

What Prof said
But upon the insistence of his eager audience, he obliged.  Kongi said : “I’m not a great scientist but I believe in chemistry. When chemistry happens, you know at once. So just follow the vibes from the person. If you don’t succeed, try, try again.”
Well, we all know it. We know when it washes all over us, making us foster instant connections with some people. Sometimes the feeling is so strong, we tend to lose control of our emotions.

Cecilia’s dilemma
Cecilia sat on her bed waiting for Tunji, who had called to say he was on his way. By her estimation, he would be there in five minutes, but the initial excitement had long gone awry. He heart beat her ribs intensely and she was drenching in her own sweat in an air-conditioned room. Maybe it was a sign that he was headed  for danger,  she thought, but she still needed to see the gentle but warm guy she had met at a shopping mall. She had a similar feeling when they first met, only that it was worse this time.
When the door bell rang, she felt her legs wobble as she made for the living room. Her throat had run dry, making her swallow and gasp for breath. Like it started, everything was magical. As she ushered him in, the wild visceral reaction stopped. She felt calm and comfortable in his presence.
Truly, Cecilia could have been in a big mess but for  Tunji’s maturity. She was already engaged to a man who loved her so much, but tried as she did after the visit, she couldn’t get Tunji off her mind. “The chemistry was and is still there. While there is no fire in the other relationship, this one with Victor is burning hot, and I don’t seem to be able to handle it,” she explains.
Victor is, indeed, matured. He also likes her but he would not sleep with another man’s woman. They are good friends now.

Although, the causes of this love trigger are still being investigated, experts  agree on the symptoms, as is captured here by Wikipedia. “There are various psychological, physical and emotional symptoms of having good chemistry with another person. It has been described as a “combination of basic psychological arousal combined with a feeling of pleasure”.
“The nervous system gets aroused, causing one to get adrenaline in the form of rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, and sensations of excitement that are often similar to sensations associated with danger”.
Other physical symptoms include “blood pressure rising  a little and a feeling of weakness in the knees. One can also uncontrollably smile whenever thinking about the other person.”

Spiritual connection?
An often quoted expert on the causes of chemistry is Dr. Kelly Campbell. According to the Professor of Psychology at California State University, people are more likely to experience friendship chemistry if their personalities were open (i.e adventurous, imaginative, and emotionally in-tune), conscientious (i.e competent, disciplined, hard-working), and agreeable (i.e  friendly, cooperative, and considerate).
This is part of Campbell’s study I find compelling: “In the end, my journey to understand chemistry afforded many answers. But even after the personal reflections, discussions with friends and research studies, I still question whether chemistry involves something that cannot be explained by science. Part of me thinks so. Maybe it is caused by a spiritual connection, remembering the future, or destiny, I don’t know”, she said.
Spiritual connection? Many of the people I have spoken with admit being overpowered by the chemistry, making them happy on the inside and rejuvenated, but they admitted  they do not think it is all due to physical attraction. I can attest to that.

Whatever causes chemistry, one thing is certain. People tend to be attracted and feel chemistry with people who make us feel good. As one expert puts it, if we feel chemistry with people who hurt us then that is a matter to discuss in therapy.
Chemistry is a romantic catalyst, so strong that some experts conclude that without it, there can be no relationship. But they are quick to warn that because of the power of chemistry to blind us, it could be one of the most dangerous and self-destructive emotions if left unchecked.

Source: Daily Sun